Parent to Parent

Learning a Cartwheel

By Mara Lee Stark

Co-Owner of Bitterroot Gymnastics

I have a distinct memory of a fifth grade P.E. class.  We were doing cartwheels.  (I don’t actually remember receiving any specific instructions other than – “we’re all going to do cartwheels”.) I remember standing in line, feeling a little unsure of myself, waiting for my turn to run across the gym floor and perform a cartwheel. A boy in front of me in line commented that girls were always better than boys at cartwheels so I was sure to do a better cartwheel than he was.*  Soon the boy took his turn, which was pretty decent, and then I took my turn. As soon as I put my hands on the ground, I totally lost any awareness of where I was or what my body was doing until I stopped moving and found myself lying on my back looking up at the ceiling. When I got back into line, the previously mentioned boy commented that I was a definite exception to the rule of girls doing better cartwheels than boys.

I don’t claim to understand why we internalize some experiences more than others, I only know that this failed cartwheel attempt, and the feelings I experienced at the time, became part of my self-concept. Even though I learned to love certain sports, I still carried the belief that I was fundamentally a little awkward and clumsy. I know that there have been adventures I have hesitated to take, certain friendships I didn’t pursue, and opportunities I rejected, all based on this negative belief about my physical abilities. I don’t think I am alone in this. I think it is common for most of us to have negative beliefs about ourselves. We just don’t question them because they feel so real. But maybe they aren’t as real as we think.

I love watching gymnastics classes. It has been such an education and a joy for me. I love watching and am in awe of those few kids who have such natural body awareness, confidence, and ability that skills just seem to flow out of them with the greatest ease.  To me, they are living art – beautiful.

And I love watching just as much, or maybe even more, those children who remind me of me.  They come to class and don’t move with as much grace or physical intuition as many of their peers. I love watching them stick with it anyway. I love watching them learn to love the process of learning, and eventually master their bodies. It is so cool. It teaches me so much.

Watching these children succeed has taught me that my negative beliefs about myself were really unfounded. As I watch girls who remind me of me succeed, I know that all we really need is someone with skill, patience, and love to help us gain a few skills and believe in ourselves, and the cartwheel that has really always existed inside of us will come out.  I truly believe that anyone who sticks with it can learn a cartwheel, a round-off, a back flip….  And by sticking with it and learning these skills, a youth really becomes unique in the world, which is just so fun!

It is so exciting to me to know that children can leave their experience at our gym and know that they have succeeded. They can then carry with them a positive belief about their abilities, a belief that can in turn open the door of adventure, opportunity, and friendship.  What a great gift to give a child! What a privilege for my husband and I to participate in this way in the lives of your children. Thank you for the opportunity. 

*I have witnessed enough “boy cartwheels” to know, that boys can definitely hold their own with girls in the cartwheel world.